music: DJ Sakin & Friends - Nomansland
do you know this? you talk to somebody, sit somewhere, do something and then you know: That´s it!! this is missing!! why can´t i have it?? why can´t i just go, take it and call it mine?
here are the circumstances:
yesterday i was invited by a man. just for lunch. this man was the first man in my life and he will be the last. i judged him for being his father´s son. i doomed him because of being his father´s son. i didn´t wanted to talk to that man, didn´t want to see that man, yes, sometime ago i even wanted to kill him.
now i know that he was the only one. the only one who thought of me. the only one who tried to protect me. i couldn´t forget your face, this day, i screamed at you...
but now, i know that i destroyed us. yesterday i watched him. i just wanted to go touch him, hug him and say "i´m so sorry, for all that i´ve said, done and thought."
but i destroyed us. my chance has passed. it´s over. i will never ever can talk with him like i should. i built a wall between us, which can´t collapse. my hopes and deeper insight came to late.
i need you. i don´t need a fairy tale, but i need you for beeing complete. yesterday i understood that you are the missing part of my life...
i´m so sorry dad, here´s your lil´ zaubermaus, please let me come back...
fucking.freak (19.5.08 00:53)
Life's not an easy thing. But to figure out what you did causes certainly a lot of pain and regret.