mood: down again

music: nothing important...


it´s this damn feeling...down. depressed.

so many things which are in my mind. but i don´t want to have them there. feeling so... close to crying. don´t know why. it´s dark around. but i shouldn´t complain about anything. i goes by. like always...

but it feels like crap...

i´m out! 

1 Kommentar 23.2.08 12:40, kommentieren


mood: pissed!!

music: too quiet!!


yeah dude i don´t blame you! you´re missing experience and insight.


I blame you, you damn son of a biatch!! go out of my life,it´s over, gone. so make peace with yourself, go fishing or do someother relaxing things!!

bur keep you ugly, dirty fingers out of my life!

you disturb me!! 


have to see my sweethaert... i miss him...poor, ill sweethaert^^

miss you darling... 

1 Kommentar 21.2.08 22:30, kommentieren


mood: default

music: him - pretending


yeah dude^^it´s your perfect life?

i don´t believe one word. it sound s like: " oh look, i feel so great since you left. i don´t need you!"

and yes, keep on pretending, even if i know the truth. i know you. keep on pretending, when it ends your craving... you try to lie at me, but you forgot something...^^

i wish that your lies come true, it would be the perfect life, just for you...

i am not the one to blame, you solitary man...

damn i love H.I.M...


20.2.08 18:56, kommentieren


mood: sentimental

music: fanta 4 - krieger


i´m running up a hill.i know at the top, there´s the light. the wisdom, the final destination. the end of all fears, there are all my hope.there are my dreams.

i´m running.

but the top seems to run too. i get faster. the end seemd to fade.

i´m searching. for the end. the core of these obligatory, lukewarm, slow, desinterested time.

behind my back, pushing me forwards, is something. or someone. there´s a breath.

this well known something is behind me. always. can´t shake it off. i want to escape, want to be at the top of this hil, because i know, the something, or the someone can´t reach me there.

but the end seems to fade. i´m running faster. it´s still behind me.

behind me, the breath.

it´s talking. you have to awake, you are a sleeper. you have been waiting so long. what´s your dream, why are you here? you have to wake up, your dream won´t end. life is a river, it has to flow. wake up, i will show you a free area, a place i found in your head. and i want to show it to you...

wake up...

it´s touching me. i´m turning around and i know, we´re a unity. it happens. i´m seeing what the other me sees.

faces. i know them. i know their stories. i know them. each of them is related to me. they are running with me, fighting for the same thing. giving me a feeling like a shield. i´ve missed that feeling.


i wake up.

and my dream goes on..

1 Kommentar 18.2.08 00:14, kommentieren

For all these times...

mood: numb

Music. evanescence - your star


don´t know whats wrong. expectations. can´t accept them. but have to. i see the problem. feeling like...they treat me a lil´ bit unfair. i think i have to make decisions. there are a lot. some are hard, others are clear. but what´s the right way to make it right? this path is closed to me.

well, confusing times...

15.2.08 14:41, kommentieren


mood: kizz my ass biatch^^

Music: Lacrimosa - Stolzes Herz


mal wieder zeit fürn bissl heimatgerede^^ ich hab mir mal so grad so meine alten blogs reingezogen...und jetzt hab ich sowas wie ne "Erleuchtung"^^...

I´ve made it! i´m my only, my own god. and now be careful with me...feeling like mourdering...

und jetzt sag ich einfach mal getrost:


Ihr könnt mich alle mal^^ ich habs selbst gemacht, back up,fass mich an und du warst geschichte!!


fühl mich grad wieder gut^^

11.2.08 16:24, kommentieren

for ever and ever...

mood: bloody-minded

Music: Dicso Boys - I Came For You



she did it again! she´s thinking that she is almighty. but this time it´s war! i won´t be the one to leave this in pieces. she destroyed everything with a few words. but these words hit me like nothing before. well maybe it´s just because this time i won´t apologize, crawling back to her feet, beging for a normal relationship. this time she went one step too much in my direction...


she wants war? yeah, i´m ready, she can have it!!



1 Kommentar 11.2.08 16:01, kommentieren